Life is hard sometimes

I used to be very much a feel it, deal it, and get over it type of person. And, to be honest, I still prefer it that way for the most part. If you're gonna be happy, be all out happy and enjoy it while you can. If you're gonna be mad, get yourself good and angry so that you can process it and then it's done. I love, love, LOVE the feeling of of excitement and overly researching something when you've finally gotten to the point of seriously considering it. The excitement of all of the possibilities and the anticipation of all of the amazing outcomes (and also being nervous about the worst possible outcomes)... And then when you find out it almost positively won't work out...it hurts. It sort of crushes your entire being in a garbage disposal. And you come out one raw piece of meat. It takes a while to get less tender about the situation and you can't help but remember what could've been...and continue wondering if it still could be...