Why is three kids more difficult than two?

Let's be real: sometimes having three kids is actually a blessing.  The kiddos entertaining each other instead of always "needing" you to play with them.  Being forced to have a routine.  Positive reinforcement from another child. 
Sometimes...having three kids is hard. 
*I have only two hands.  So when I need to go out and do stuff with all three by myself, there's only so much I can keep a handle on.
*One kid often gets left out of games and such.  Which means when two are playing happily together, the one who's left out often ends up getting into extra mischief to try and get attention from you.
*Maybe it will be difference once they're older...but Hux is still rear facing (way, WAY safer) and has found that he gets a lot of [negative] attention by putting his feet in The Olders carspace.  Seriously, what can you do about that?  Close to nothing.
*When there are just two kids, it's relatively easy to find the balance if you have one who's an introvert and one who's an extrovert.  But when there are three, it's never enough for anyone.  And apparently throwing a third kid in the mix has turned my uber extroverted Gabriel into an uber touchy-homebody who just wants "to stay home and cuddle" all.the.time.
*The house.  It's seriously a wreck.  All the time.  I'm not exaggerating.  When there was just one kid, it was still relatively tidy.  If you don't pick up your toys before nap/bedtime, they got put in The Time Out bucket until the next day/whenever you're willing to put them away (which sometimes lasted for weeks).  When there are two kids, it's hard to balance because you're never totally sure who took out said toy.  Especially hard when your older kid gets upset that your younger kid is too young to help pick up/makes more of a mess "helping" than if he's already in bed.  This can usually be contained if you offer to help play The Cleanup Robot Song and help Older Kid pick up the toys since Younger Kid is already in bed and you want to be fair.  Whatev.  I can handle that (most days).  However...when there are three kids...EVEN when you try and have everyone put toys/books/whatever away right after they're done playing with it (before they can bring out another toy/book/whatever), it ends in disaster.  Because you can only watch so much.  No one will ever admit that they took out this, that, and the other toys without putting the first two things away before bringing out the third.  Everyone feels they're doing way more than the others in regards to cleaning up.  Even when you spend absurd quantities of energy trying to keep everything semi-decent (we aren't talking Rosie Homemaker clean, but merely non-tornado picked up) it still ends up a mess every.single.day.  [For someone who is an Acts of Service love language and who feels her life is a wreck when her home is a wreck, this is a real hurdle.]
*Your childless friends and friends with one kids who were still great when you had two little monsters...it changes.  It isn't always that *their* attitude changes.  Some friends are really great about it and are very helpful and understanding...but even with those great friends, it's hard not to see the total inequality when you're together with your hair and brain all frazzled and they're more or less put together.
*Finding someone to watch your kids (even for a couple of hours) is NOT an easy task.  I can say this from the Mother of Three point of view and the Come-On-Over-For-A-Playdate point of view.  Having one extra kid to your house more or less (depending on the kid and the aura of the night) can be WAY less work than having just your own kids.  Having two kids is often more work because, once again, someone often ends up feeling left out and/or you never know where everyone is located (your ears get more and more trained the more kids you have so this is less problematic).  But having three kids?  Let's think about this.  For those who have only one kid, that quandriples their normal kiddo time.  *swipes forehead*  For those who have two kids, there's more than double the crazy they're used to.  If you already have three or more kids, it's more or less just throw it all in there because it doesn't seem like much extra effort.  It's not IMPOSSIBLE to find a sitter, but trading babysitting is more difficult and finding a sitter (at a price you can afford) becomes increasingly difficult.
*Similar to the sitter: finding places and times to go out and do fun things get exponentially tougher the more kids you have.  Maybe it would be different if they were all the same age range and were on the same schedule.  But pretty much how it goes is: kids wake up at five (six if you're really crazy lucky), nowhere opens until eight...but by that point, you have three hours to cram everything you want done until you have to be back at the house (with lunch eaten) in order for quiet time to start.  What about after quiet time, you ask?  Yeah.  That's not a safe bet.  Sometimes everyone sleeps (although not at the same time, if it happens at all).  Sometimes no one sleeps.  Any which way, attitudes are generally worse for the wear after quiet time, whether a true rest was had or not.
*Couple time (linked to finding a sitter): it pretty much doesn't happen.  Rather...it does happen, but you have to be VERY cognizant about forcing it to happen...and when it does, it's hard to talk about anything other than just the kids (because they take up so much time and energy)
*Alone time: see above.  Alone time with true meditation is a total joke

Everything considered...I'm definitely of the opinion that adding a third for a couple of days is like an extra fun extra long playdate...but adding a third consistent kiddo into your life makes your life way, way more confusing/stressful/etc.  BUT...Total total honesty: I wouldn't change it for the world.

Also, fingers crossed that once Hubby is back home from his month-long job training, my life will get way easier.  Fingers crossed.

The home with three kiddos

First thing's first: we stopped fostering pups for a little while until we get settled with this current transition.  About a week ago I considered going back on that and throwing a dog in the mix as well, but now I'm SO glad I chose not to.  I'm still hoping that someday we can help with The Rescue again, but for now a break is really nice.

So we finally got matched with a kiddo and she's been living with us for a while now.  Things have been going mostly well.  In the last half week, all of the kids have been having...issues because I think the awesomeness has worn off and they're all needing more one-on-one time, but it's hard when there are two animals, one husband, three kids, and yourself who all need some alone and/or one-on-one time.  A (the little gal who's living with us) was very blunt one day and told me "I want to go to the store with you.  Just you.  I never get alone time just with you.  Daddy's always there.  Or Gabe is always there.  And Smushy (what she calls Hux) is always always there."  Whoops.  The older kids have had such fun playing for hours on end that it didn't even hit me that I should be forcing some one-on-one time.  The next day, Gabe started bawling his eyes out when we got to the YMCA (and he normally LOVES going to playgroup there) because he "just wanted to stay home with [me]".  Whoops again.  So my new goal is to try and find a couple smidges of time each day to do things with each one of them separately (which is extra hard this month).  Normally we all brush our teeth together at night, but now I've started trying to brush separately so I can be with each of them individually (since they're now both wanting me to "help" brush, floss, mouthwash, get on jammies, etc.  This morning I was able to spend some time with A before Gabe woke up (although Hux was up with me and kept coming over every once in a while too) and when A went to school, I sat and built things with Gabe for a while...and then played megalegos with Hux for a while.  I'm hoping the little smidges of focused energy on each of them will encourage happier kids once their tanks are full again.
One huge step forward: I think last night was the first night A didn't cry herself to sleep. 
So it's been both very exciting and extremely exhausting, but I'm loving the changes that are happening with us.

I think we're finally done...

Warning: Awkward post.
So...I think Hux is done breastfeeding.  I was expecting it to be a pretty big thing like it was with Gabe.  Hux was just as attached...and it comforted him more than anything else...until two or three months ago when he started cutting back (on his own).  I'm sure it was partially because I started having Hubby put him to bed half of the time with a water sippy...but still when I'd put him down, he'd want to nurse at least a bit until he was ready to cram his own pacifier in and grab for the crib to go to sleep.  It's just...weird, I guess.  Ever since I was measured after Gabe was born and realized I'd jumped in size so much, I've been looking forward to being totally done with breastfeeding.  The girls never dropped in size after I was done breastfeeding Gabe, but my plan has always been surgery once I'm done-done.  But...now that it's here, that's scary.  And...I guess I was just expecting it to be more like Gabe where it was a combo cutting back: I started cutting back during the day once we got settled so he was only allowed at nap and bedtime.  He cut out his naptime feeding and several weeks later only wanted water at night.  I'd been trying to distract Hux with other stuff when he wanted to nurse several months ago, but wasn't expecting him to just cut out everything himself.  For a couple of weeks there, I'd even *offer* each time I lay him down, but he'd just look at me like, "uh, I think not."  It's been almost a week since he nursed and for the last couple of weeks it's been once every couple of days anyway.  I don't know.  It makes me feel...weird...like I'm actually done with itsy bitsies.  And it makes me sad.  Hux has been walking since he was nine or ten months or whatever, but now he actually feels like he's grown up/independent.  And this past week we transitioned down to one naptime too (since he was refusing his afternoon nap, but still taking his morning nap starting 8-9...and then there were several days where he refused both naps which was BAD).  One nap is working pretty well these last four days.  Gabe even fell asleep once.  But it did make me realize that for the next several months at least, I won't be able to do any lunch dates with friends since they go down for nap/quiet time at eleven'ish.
I don't want to be pregnant ever again.  That's definitely not changed.  But it does make me sad that I have no babies.

Are smartphones really a blessing?

Let's be real: I've been thinking about getting rid of my smartphone since I first got it (a little more than a year ago).  I've had issues with it (serious issues; like, factory reset every 2-3 months because it fails so bad and they can't fix it issues) since I first got it despite the fact I generally use it for navigation, facebook, e-mail, babycenter debt free board, and notalwaysright dot com (too funny to pass up).  I don't do crazy stuff on there, but have had more issues than anyone else I've known.  So...  I finally took the plunge.  It took a long time of going back and forth, but I no longer have a smartphone (well, I'm testing it out for a few days before I fully commit).

My first thought was: wow this is ancient!  I didn't go out and buy a three hundred dollar boring phone.  That's ridiculous.  Instead I got a rockin almost decade old phone.  Hey.  At least it has qwerty, which was my only requirement (and that it sends and receives calls routinely...and I was also hoping it takes decent pictures).

The entire time I had a smartphone, *despite* trying to make a point not to be on it all that often, I felt like I was constantly pulled in different directions.  It became habit to check facebook at least three times a day (often more when I was bored or wanted to procrastinate).  It was way too easy to get sucked into an online community and miss what was going on with the boys.  I wasn't *always* on it or anything, but it still felt like way too much.  Sure, it was crazy nice to have navigation (my main reason for wanting it).  And it was nice not to have to power up my computer each time I wanted to shoot a quick message to a friend...but I can't really say I feel like it was worth it.  I oftentimes felt semi-guilty when I was pidaddling on my phone as the boys were playing in the other room or when they were napping and I could get doing so much more productive things.  Don't get me wrong: I know I'm a do'er, not a be'er and I've been working really hard to allow myself to just *be* sometimes.  But I felt like the balance was still being thrown.  Instead of go-go-going all the time, I kept feeling like I *should* be checking in on the phone.  It makes no sense, but that's how the back of my mind was working.

So we'll see how I feel in a few days, but for now I'm both semi-sad I won't be as connected to the outside world and also somewhat freed.  More books (I imagine) will happen in my off time.  Hopefully I'll finally get and keep the table and counters cleared.  Projects around the house.  Playing trains with the boys.  Conversations and whatnot with The Hubs.  Let's see if it's as freeing in a couple of days as it feels right now.  (Note: I am nervous about getting lost a lot again.  I still got lost when using the GPS but now I'm afraid I'll forget to print directions or am going to follow directions wrong again...  I'm also nervous when I'm trying to meet up for playdates and whatnot.  Everyone always converses through facebook so I may end up being screwed on that one.  There have been many times where I get to the park, etc and five minutes before meeting time, they'll message on facebook saying that they won't make it.  I'm not looking forward to that happening but waiting longer than normal...)  So we shall see.  Here's hoping it both frees up some energy and time and money to focus more on myself and my family again.

Muh bay bay

Hux isn't a wee babe anymore.  Fourteen months old and CRAZY active.  Specifically, he and Gabe and Nana oftentimes tag team me with their crazy energy.  Sometimes, on really awesome days, they all play together and try and wear each other out.  I LOVE days like that.
About Hux: he still isn't really talking (he kinda says a couple of words...and he sometimes sounds like he's trying to mimic us, but doesn't really say much himself; he's still just playing around with sounds).  He walks, runs, balances, climbs up on anything possible, loves to take things out in the kitchen and bang them on the floor, together, etc.  His favorite thing: balls.  All sizes.  Little bitty ones.  Tennis balls (so cute when he "throws" them for Nana).  Soccer balls.  Balls as big as his body with spikes.  Last night I just blew up one medium and one XL exercise ball and he's loved rolling those around too.
Gabriel started preschool in February outside of our house for the first time.  Since we moved to Tucson, Gabe had been...off.  He used to LOVE preschool and would beg for more after two hours of working with me.  Since we moved, he wasn't even wanting to do the funnest of things.  It didn't help that we hadn't made any friends his age that we could routinely meet up with.  That was REALLY hard on him.  He's an extrovert and was really really struggling with all of the changes.  So I looked into it and got a scholarship.  It's still hard to pay for preschool (even a discounted rate) when I'm a stay at home mom, but he's blossomed since enrolling.  There have been some not good things: he's been bullied a couple of times; he's struggled socially relating to peers; someone in his class taught him a word that we never, ever say; he throws fits every time he has to leave to come home.  But there have been so many more benefits: he has two good girlfriends there now (although one of them we haven't seen outside of school yet...but I have her contact info somewhere...); he's been wanting to learn at home again; he's starting to read and spell aloud (he's known his letters for a long, long time, but now he reads something, sounds it out, and tells me what the word is (this is actually proving problematic as I'm going to have to come up with a new code for talking to Chris when I don't want Gabe to know what we're talking about).  Overall, it's been a definite blessing and I'm so grateful for the scholarship that let us do it.  There's absolutely no way I could justify spending a hundred dollars on three three hour days of preschool a week.  That would literally eat up all of our savings and entertainment money.  But a discounted rate we decided to test out...and have enrolled him for full time three hour days (which is only a bit more) for next schoolyear.  I'm hoping this works out better.  Gabriel won't throw fits when it's time to leave because everyone will be leaving.  There will be an easier way to go to the store, take Hux to appointments, have any foster child appointments scheduled during that time.  I'm four sections away from being done with my personal finance certification and my goal for next month is to decide if I want to try and volunteer one or two days a week with it or try and find a 2-3 day job with it (I'm pretty evenly torn on what I want to do).  Either choice will be easier once Gabriel is in full-time care for three days a week.
Size-wise, Hux is about 23/24/something pounds (he keeps getting taller and taller but doesn't gain weight; he's 99% height but about fifty percent weight as compared to others his age; I wonder where he gets that from).  Gabriel is slightly more than thirty pounds now (yay Gabe) and still relatively short (I think he's hanging around twenty-fifth percentile for both weight and height) and that kid is all muscle and bone I swear.  Totally honest: I kinda want to feed him ice cream and donuts everyday just to try and fatten him up a bit.  But then I find my logical side and know that won't help us reach *actual* goals so I keep desserts as a reward.

Well Check Ups

Baby (at 10'ish months) was 62% weight, 99% height, 35% head (but she said he kept squirming) and I was told I didn't play enough "baby games" with him.
I can't find Gabe's forms, but he was about 25%'ish physically but passed all of the prescreenings with flying colors.

first steps (with a oatmeal cream pie box)

Thank you croup plus ear infection. Zachariah Yost walked today to sure (as compared to a few times last week where Yost said he *thought* he said the baby take a few steps. P.S. now im terrified.

Baby DJ

For the last several weeks, Baby has been acting like a DJ every time he breastfeeds or starts to fall asleep putting his little baby hand up on his baby ear and whatnot.

ow

It finally happened.  Two teeth later and Baby bit me.    Here's hoping that he is just like Gabe and it only happens once or twice

Baby's First Tooth

That's right.  Baby finally has his first tooth.  It popped out on Thanksgiving!  Hopefully that's why he was struggling so much with sleep and crying so much (b/c he's doing much better now).  He's been crawling for months and he's been standing unassisted since the beginning of November, but now he has a tooth

nicknames

Since I did it with Gabe, I feel the need to have a nicknames lis ror New Baby too.
He has adopted some of Gabe's old nicknames like Mr Kickster a few times and Baby Nana a decent amount because he's so sad sometimes.  He also has been known as Hux, Zach, That One, Your Life Is Hard, etc.

crawling and pulling to stand

I was tonna be good wife and lie that Hux did anything big until the first time he did it after Hubby came to be with us in a few days...but Hux crawled a few steps yesterday (not army crawling or scooching) and today be pulled himself to stand up at Gabe's bed.

As I Cry Here In The Dark *expletive warning

It took about an hour to get Baby to stop screaming.  It was so bad that Gabriwl and I had to go in the other room (alhough Gabe was very good for about fifteen or twenty minutes).  I feel wo had for Gabe.  I feel way less had for Baby.  He will be six months old in less than a week.  He does not.need.to.be.waking.every.hour.or.two.  I've been vwry spoiled this last week.  Mom was so great and just took over the nightshift ever since I got home from the hospital, even now that I'm less braindead.  I feel so bad for her that she had to put up with this.  I love Baby.  I really do...but I just about (and by that, I mean I did in reality) yelled at him to shut the fuck up and just go to sleep.  I told you: me? I'm over it.  I can't very well do the modified cry it out like we did with Gabe whwn !) The boys are sharing a room, b) Hubby isn't here to offer a fridge bottle in case he truly is starving, and c) we're about to be moving/going through tra nsitions again.  But I also can't handle the waking up and the incessant screaming anymore.  Huddled up in the dark struggling not to bal my eyes out isn't how I normally roll.  I just don't know how many o be a good mom and balance both meeting his needs while still making sure we both get enough sleep t function throughout the day

No, Baby, Noooooooo!

We meet up with Hubby again in two weeks.  Baby keeps gettint up on all fours...and now he's rocking back and forth.  I know you're about there, Haby, but please just hold off for two more weeks so your daddio can be there to see.  I know how hard it was to miss all of the firsts while working when Gabriel was a baby...but I was at least there at night and could reexperience things.  I feel like I should be the guy from Life Happens (?) And push him down when he does that just so Hubby doesn't miss it!

On another note: Baby only woke up for two chunks last night.  I went to bed at 8:30 I was so worn oit from the every hour experiences...  I'm just so hapoy right now.  Baby is much haplier.  I'm much happier.  I feel more like my normal, happy, productive self.  Woo hoo

Sleep Training Fail

Alas, sleep training at all is a massive fail when it's just me.  Last time, Hubby would go in with a cold bottle of milk so Baby could eat if hungry, but if he was just nursing for comfort, a cold bottle wouldn't be very comforting.  This time, I'm pretty much just laying here listening to New Baby bawl/scream...but I can't just pick him up because it will make things harder in the future.  Really, I'm totally over him waking up every single hour to eat...but this just isn't working...and of course I'm wide awake because it's been an hour of crying...

Hux can now army crawl and/or roll across the room

Baby can't crawl just yet, but atarting a few days ago can army crawl quickly across an entire room to get things he ahouldnt

Rolling

I know he's been rolling for months, but now Hux is rolling across the room to get what he wants (and has been for a week or so)

Baby foodies

I was trying to wait until Hubby and I were back together to feed Baby his first solids...but it's just shy of 5 months and for over a month he screams when he sees me eating and he doesn't get any.  Today, I wrote Hubby and asked if he even cared (to which he said no but thanks for thinking of him) and Baby was crying inconsolably no matter what I did.  Gabriel refused to eat his dinner (and put himself to bed at 6:00?...which sorta makes me wonder if he has the sickness that I've had for the last day) so I squished up the innards of the plum that was meant for Gabe and fed it to Baby Zach.  And by that, I mean Baby grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go and kept feeding himself.  I also have an avocado squished up and in the fridge for him tomorrow if he so chooses.  Plum is maybe not on the list of logical firsts, but it was easy and it did make him happy (really happy) and I figure we'll start with more logical things (like the avocado I initially thought I'd feed to him) tomorrow.  I figure none of us have any allergies so I'm not gonna worry too much about Baby having allergies unless he starts acting weird, in which case I'll cut back on everything.  He will still be eating almost fully breastmilk, but it's just so fun to see him eat squished up *real* food.

*hangs head in shame*

It happened.  It happened bad.  In the last two weeks, we've been having a hard time with the parent-child relationship.  On the drive up to visit my best friend, Gabriel was spitting on his brother.  After being told to stop several times and him continuing while kicking my seat (another thing he knows not to do), I pulled over to talk to him (which used to always work).  It didn't.  Bad choice 1: I slapped his hand.  Not hard, but enough where I thought it would get his attention.  It didn't.  Bad choice 2: when he spit in my face, I maybe touched his face (I didn't slap it, but I wanted to hard).

Worst experience 2:  The other day we went out for a short excursion to have dinner and get scissors from Hobby Lobby.  Gabriel was doing *whatever* it was again and we were next to the Jeep trying to talk when he started hitting/kicking/spitting again.  I swatted his bottom.  I thought for SURE that would work.  Maybe I didn't swat him hard enough because that kid didn't even blink!  I'm generally only a fan of spankings when it's a life and death type of thing (your kid keeps running out into the road and won't pay attention). 

I'll be entirely honest that my fuse has been way shorter with Gabe.  I've been trying to make a point to spend positive time with him, but it's hard with how busy we are.  And it's extra hard when I offer to read books and he keeps saying no.  And then add on top that he's been a huge goober lately and it's extra, extra hard and I'm sorta over it.  I HATE feeling this way as a mom.  I used to LOVE spending time with Gabriel.  I get that he's struggling with all of the transitions.  But I'm sorta just over it.  Turn four already and be a responsible, kid child again. 

"If you're gonna act like a turd, go lay in the yard."

Baby Unbreastfeeding

Baby had his first non-breastmilk/formula (which is used on road trips) two days ago.  He had a smidge (an ounce...most of which ended up on his bib) of pear juice.  I don't know if it was the traveling or the formula or something I ate or what, but he was having a very ouchy tummy and hadn't *gone* in numerous days, so I tried the pear juice.  It totally helped the little bubelah out.  I'm still hoping to hold out on starting foods until after six months since my supply is generally pretty good.