Life is hard sometimes

I used to be very much a feel it, deal it, and get over it type of person. And, to be honest, I still prefer it that way for the most part. If you're gonna be happy, be all out happy and enjoy it while you can. If you're gonna be mad, get yourself good and angry so that you can process it and then it's done. I love, love, LOVE the feeling of of excitement and overly researching something when you've finally gotten to the point of seriously considering it. The excitement of all of the possibilities and the anticipation of all of the amazing outcomes (and also being nervous about the worst possible outcomes)... And then when you find out it almost positively won't work out...it hurts. It sort of crushes your entire being in a garbage disposal. And you come out one raw piece of meat. It takes a while to get less tender about the situation and you can't help but remember what could've been...and continue wondering if it still could be...

Mucho sleepo

Different people have different opinions on what it means to sleep through the night. I'm one of those who thinks it's a 5-6 hour chunk at a time. However, last night was GABE'S FIRST NIGHT to surpass his previous feat! Yes, you heard me right. He finally went down at about 9:15 last night and didn't wake up until I cracked his door at 5:15 this morning. Then, after eating, went right back to sleep. What what!!!

Pull to stand

This last weekend, Babriel pulled himself up to a standing position at the couch. I was amazed because I wasn't really focusing and then all of the sudden, BAM, he was up. It's weird because he generally hasn't liked to stand holding onto something besides me or Chris' hands (aka I've tried to get him to stand up while holding onto the chest, etc but he has none of that). Wow. He's getting so big. I feel old...

Oops! I SHOULD feel guilty...I think...

So Baby has been waking up a LOT more lately. We're talking the last two weeks, not the last two days...and we're talking he's been waking up every two hours...It's been, um, difficult to say the least. I think it was the worst when yesterday I found myself falling over while standing doing nothing because I was so tired... That's problematic.
Point being: I go to bed at 11:00 last night (waited up for Hubby to get home and then took my shower, talked to him for a few minutes and crashed). I woke up right before 5:00 freaking out. Baby had been asleep since 10:00 (went down right after 7:00, but woke up about 9:00 and went back to sleep at about 10:00)...That's the longest stretch I ever remember (I remember being gladly terrified when 5-6 hour stretches started happening rarely)...so I start freaking out and wake Hubby thinking Baby is dead...And what does Hubby do? He reaches over and shows me that the monitor ISN'T EVEN PLUGGED IN!!! Granted, I wake up at the slightest noise LO makes (although I can apparently sleep right through the tornado sirens...), but he could've been screaming for 2 hours whilst I was drifting through cloudless dreams!
I wonder honestly if that happened, though, because the monitor has been turned off once before and I still heard LO through the walls...but it just seems so odd that he'd randomly choose tonight to sleep that long after going through a stretch of sleeping so little stretches at night, right? I'll admit that I'm somewhat upset that the monitor was off. It shouldn't be off ever. I want to make sure LO knows I'll be there if/when he needs me... But then again, I'm somewhat uber-grateful to get that many hours of sleep at once. Should I feel guilty? I do a little, but in the back of my mind, I'm wondering if I can "try" that again tonight.

I've been bitten!

It happened. The two teeth are visible now. It's almost like the beginning of winter where you KNOW you're going to slip on the ice and it builds up into this HORRIBLE thing into your head b/c you KNOW it's going to happen and you just have to wait and wait until it finally occurs. So Gabriel finally bit me yesterday. I didn't react logically. A noise came out, but it wasn't really loud...and it wasn't a word. It was all I could do to not yell huge amounts of swears. And there wasn't enough willpower to keep the bad words in to tell him "no biting" like I was able to do when he'd gum me. However, our feeding was definitely over. I sat for a few seconds to control myself, handed Chris the baby and then walked to the bathroom trying not to cry. I snotted a lot, but no tears actually escaped. Hopefully, there won't be another time, but if there is, I hope now that I know more of what to expect, I'll be able to react more logically. We shall see what the future holds. At least I'm hoping I won't have anymore nightmares about it, right?

Names I like

Female
Annabelle
Isabel
Rini
Ulani
Hannah
Naomi
Tamah
Renea
Rabia
Lana
Ruth (middle)
Veronica
Marie
Rachana
Rhys
Megara
Brady
Kaylee
Brianna
Danielle
Inara
Joy (middle)
Faith (middle)
Hope (middle)
Nakia
Samira
Kelsey
Katrina
Abigail
Almira
Acelynn
Aeron
Eve
Brooke
Desiree
Amira
Lakia
Mabyn
Femi
Gwyneth
Adelle
Saran
Lyneth
Macaria
Penelope
Shanti

Male
Adam
Alexander
Brady
Demitri
Dominic
Ethan
Huxley
Ian
Ivan
Jeremiah
Lucas
Marcus
Quinn
Raimi
Samuru
Solomon
Thodore
Viktor
Xavier
Zachariah

Skinny Bitch in the Kitch excerpt

p181
"After Dinner Mint
Food is the fuel that keeps us going. It supplies our bodies with energy and sustenance and literally makes life possible. But it's also so much more than that. It's the gateway to paradise. A gift from the heavens. Life's greatest pleasure. Every time we eat, we have the capacity to experience unparalleled ecstasy. Multiple times a day. So why do people forget to eat? Or eat standing up? Or grab something quick? Hell, it beats the shit out of us. we never do that stuff-we friggin' love eating more than anything else in the world. And we bask in the glory of every bite we take.
Eating is like a religious experience. And every meal is like an offering to your temple. So like you would for any place of worship, have reverence for your body. You shouldn't put garbage in your mouth any sooner than you'd go to church wearing crotchless panties. Now granted, sometimes you wear less than your Sunday best to church, and that's fine-God loves you anyway. And sometimes you eat less than your best, and that's okay too. But you wouldn't make a habit of dressing like crap for church and you shoulnd't make a habit of eating crap either.
We each get one body to last us an entire lifetime. And more than any other factor, food affects how well and for how long this body will serve us. So if you didn't care before, start caring now. Take the time to learn which foods are healthy and which aren't. And take the time to start enjoying everything you eat. Doing "it" standing up and "quickies" are for sex, not eating. So slow down, pick out a recipe, and sit down to a nice meal tonight. After dinner, you can have a quickie."