I think we're finally done...

Warning: Awkward post.
So...I think Hux is done breastfeeding.  I was expecting it to be a pretty big thing like it was with Gabe.  Hux was just as attached...and it comforted him more than anything else...until two or three months ago when he started cutting back (on his own).  I'm sure it was partially because I started having Hubby put him to bed half of the time with a water sippy...but still when I'd put him down, he'd want to nurse at least a bit until he was ready to cram his own pacifier in and grab for the crib to go to sleep.  It's just...weird, I guess.  Ever since I was measured after Gabe was born and realized I'd jumped in size so much, I've been looking forward to being totally done with breastfeeding.  The girls never dropped in size after I was done breastfeeding Gabe, but my plan has always been surgery once I'm done-done.  But...now that it's here, that's scary.  And...I guess I was just expecting it to be more like Gabe where it was a combo cutting back: I started cutting back during the day once we got settled so he was only allowed at nap and bedtime.  He cut out his naptime feeding and several weeks later only wanted water at night.  I'd been trying to distract Hux with other stuff when he wanted to nurse several months ago, but wasn't expecting him to just cut out everything himself.  For a couple of weeks there, I'd even *offer* each time I lay him down, but he'd just look at me like, "uh, I think not."  It's been almost a week since he nursed and for the last couple of weeks it's been once every couple of days anyway.  I don't know.  It makes me feel...weird...like I'm actually done with itsy bitsies.  And it makes me sad.  Hux has been walking since he was nine or ten months or whatever, but now he actually feels like he's grown up/independent.  And this past week we transitioned down to one naptime too (since he was refusing his afternoon nap, but still taking his morning nap starting 8-9...and then there were several days where he refused both naps which was BAD).  One nap is working pretty well these last four days.  Gabe even fell asleep once.  But it did make me realize that for the next several months at least, I won't be able to do any lunch dates with friends since they go down for nap/quiet time at eleven'ish.
I don't want to be pregnant ever again.  That's definitely not changed.  But it does make me sad that I have no babies.