Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Nicknames of the first year

Booger Butt (Chris hated this one)
Boog-Schmoog
Mr Kickster
Yoda Monster
Gabriel Monster
[the normal, boring] Gabe
Mr Schneibly
Nana
Gaby Baby [this is something others called him and I didn't prefer]
Big Baby Boy

Hm...Maybe that's all, or at least the main ones.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Life is hard sometimes

I used to be very much a feel it, deal it, and get over it type of person. And, to be honest, I still prefer it that way for the most part. If you're gonna be happy, be all out happy and enjoy it while you can. If you're gonna be mad, get yourself good and angry so that you can process it and then it's done. I love, love, LOVE the feeling of of excitement and overly researching something when you've finally gotten to the point of seriously considering it. The excitement of all of the possibilities and the anticipation of all of the amazing outcomes (and also being nervous about the worst possible outcomes)... And then when you find out it almost positively won't work out...it hurts. It sort of crushes your entire being in a garbage disposal. And you come out one raw piece of meat. It takes a while to get less tender about the situation and you can't help but remember what could've been...and continue wondering if it still could be...

Friday, September 10, 2010

Mucho sleepo

Different people have different opinions on what it means to sleep through the night. I'm one of those who thinks it's a 5-6 hour chunk at a time. However, last night was GABE'S FIRST NIGHT to surpass his previous feat! Yes, you heard me right. He finally went down at about 9:15 last night and didn't wake up until I cracked his door at 5:15 this morning. Then, after eating, went right back to sleep. What what!!!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Pull to stand

This last weekend, Babriel pulled himself up to a standing position at the couch. I was amazed because I wasn't really focusing and then all of the sudden, BAM, he was up. It's weird because he generally hasn't liked to stand holding onto something besides me or Chris' hands (aka I've tried to get him to stand up while holding onto the chest, etc but he has none of that). Wow. He's getting so big. I feel old...

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Oops! I SHOULD feel guilty...I think...

So Baby has been waking up a LOT more lately. We're talking the last two weeks, not the last two days...and we're talking he's been waking up every two hours...It's been, um, difficult to say the least. I think it was the worst when yesterday I found myself falling over while standing doing nothing because I was so tired... That's problematic.
Point being: I go to bed at 11:00 last night (waited up for Hubby to get home and then took my shower, talked to him for a few minutes and crashed). I woke up right before 5:00 freaking out. Baby had been asleep since 10:00 (went down right after 7:00, but woke up about 9:00 and went back to sleep at about 10:00)...That's the longest stretch I ever remember (I remember being gladly terrified when 5-6 hour stretches started happening rarely)...so I start freaking out and wake Hubby thinking Baby is dead...And what does Hubby do? He reaches over and shows me that the monitor ISN'T EVEN PLUGGED IN!!! Granted, I wake up at the slightest noise LO makes (although I can apparently sleep right through the tornado sirens...), but he could've been screaming for 2 hours whilst I was drifting through cloudless dreams!
I wonder honestly if that happened, though, because the monitor has been turned off once before and I still heard LO through the walls...but it just seems so odd that he'd randomly choose tonight to sleep that long after going through a stretch of sleeping so little stretches at night, right? I'll admit that I'm somewhat upset that the monitor was off. It shouldn't be off ever. I want to make sure LO knows I'll be there if/when he needs me... But then again, I'm somewhat uber-grateful to get that many hours of sleep at once. Should I feel guilty? I do a little, but in the back of my mind, I'm wondering if I can "try" that again tonight.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I've been bitten!

It happened. The two teeth are visible now. It's almost like the beginning of winter where you KNOW you're going to slip on the ice and it builds up into this HORRIBLE thing into your head b/c you KNOW it's going to happen and you just have to wait and wait until it finally occurs. So Gabriel finally bit me yesterday. I didn't react logically. A noise came out, but it wasn't really loud...and it wasn't a word. It was all I could do to not yell huge amounts of swears. And there wasn't enough willpower to keep the bad words in to tell him "no biting" like I was able to do when he'd gum me. However, our feeding was definitely over. I sat for a few seconds to control myself, handed Chris the baby and then walked to the bathroom trying not to cry. I snotted a lot, but no tears actually escaped. Hopefully, there won't be another time, but if there is, I hope now that I know more of what to expect, I'll be able to react more logically. We shall see what the future holds. At least I'm hoping I won't have anymore nightmares about it, right?

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Names I like

Female
Annabelle
Isabel
Rini
Ulani
Hannah
Naomi
Tamah
Renea
Rabia
Lana
Ruth (middle)
Veronica
Marie
Rachana
Rhys
Megara
Brady
Kaylee
Brianna
Danielle
Inara
Joy (middle)
Faith (middle)
Hope (middle)
Nakia
Samira
Kelsey
Katrina
Abigail
Almira
Acelynn
Aeron
Eve
Brooke
Desiree
Amira
Lakia
Mabyn
Femi
Gwyneth
Adelle
Saran
Lyneth
Macaria
Penelope
Shanti

Male
Adam
Alexander
Brady
Demitri
Dominic
Ethan
Huxley
Ian
Ivan
Jeremiah
Lucas
Marcus
Quinn
Raimi
Samuru
Solomon
Thodore
Viktor
Xavier
Zachariah

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Skinny Bitch in the Kitch excerpt

p181
"After Dinner Mint
Food is the fuel that keeps us going. It supplies our bodies with energy and sustenance and literally makes life possible. But it's also so much more than that. It's the gateway to paradise. A gift from the heavens. Life's greatest pleasure. Every time we eat, we have the capacity to experience unparalleled ecstasy. Multiple times a day. So why do people forget to eat? Or eat standing up? Or grab something quick? Hell, it beats the shit out of us. we never do that stuff-we friggin' love eating more than anything else in the world. And we bask in the glory of every bite we take.
Eating is like a religious experience. And every meal is like an offering to your temple. So like you would for any place of worship, have reverence for your body. You shouldn't put garbage in your mouth any sooner than you'd go to church wearing crotchless panties. Now granted, sometimes you wear less than your Sunday best to church, and that's fine-God loves you anyway. And sometimes you eat less than your best, and that's okay too. But you wouldn't make a habit of dressing like crap for church and you shoulnd't make a habit of eating crap either.
We each get one body to last us an entire lifetime. And more than any other factor, food affects how well and for how long this body will serve us. So if you didn't care before, start caring now. Take the time to learn which foods are healthy and which aren't. And take the time to start enjoying everything you eat. Doing "it" standing up and "quickies" are for sex, not eating. So slow down, pick out a recipe, and sit down to a nice meal tonight. After dinner, you can have a quickie."

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

TMI (seriously, though, it is)

1) Hubby told me the other day how much he likes the ONE part of my body that has stretch marks (yes, there is only one place that has stretch marks, but they're hard-core stretch marks). He didn't state it like that, but he did state how much he liked said body part and I appreciated that as I'm somewhat disgusted by the whole stretch mark business, as there are so many and they're the dominant feature, in my mind.
2) It was so adorable. So this morning I go in to feed Gabe and he's mostly asleep, but wants to dream-feed so that's cool by me. So 13 minutes later, he's slowed down and all of the sudden he stops and just smiles the biggest smile, while still making sure he's not letting go of the food source. It was SO cute! So of course I (in my idiocy) laugh out loud b/c it was so cute...to which, of course, he wakes up totally startled and just stares at me with his big, round eyes. So much for the cute asleep-feeding-smiles. Now he's wide awake and deciding whether he's going to burst into tears. Then I felt guilty...but it was so adorable I'd probably burst out laughing again, even knowing the consequences.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Yea for good sleep

Not mine, but Gabriels... So last night, Chris and I were totally pooped by the time we got home, so we pretty much vegged out in front of the tv. Gabriel was getting tired, so we put him down at about 7:18 (yes, I said about, but I'm pretty sure it was 7:18...but what if I was wrong, huh). I waited for about ten minutes to make sure he'd actually fall asleep (which he did and stayed asleep for the most part) and then got started on the new garden project. See, here's the thing: the guy before us put up a retaining wall for the garden area surrounding the base of our house...but instead of gardening it, he filled it with rocks (like 1/4-1/3 lava rocks and the rest just plain old white-ish rocks). I'm so confused about so many things this guy did... Anyway, so Chris and I had always said that if we were going to stay in our house long-term that we wanted to make it into an actual garden, but originally planned on fixing it up to potentially sell about 3 years after moving in. The problem is: the longer we stay there, the more projects we start and the more we (more him than me) don't want to leave said house. Anyway, so we bought blueberry bushes and Chris started taking the rocks out and got the larger half of the front area totally done. So last night I started moving the retaining wall in (b/c I don't want a garden that big in the front of my house) and we put the compost (that we got for free from the city...how did I not know about this last year when we spent over a hundred dollars starting up my garden and bought large, large amounts of compost???) in and there's ALMOST enough of it for that right side, but we'll have to wait until next Wednesday to get more compost; the three blueberry bushes that will be located on the right side are in place. I think one more load of compost will be enough for that right, front area...and then we'll get started on the left side. I'm excited to have my veggie garden in the back yard and then have my berry bushes, rhubarb, etc in the garden area around the base of our house. Personally, I'd like to have a garden that you can eat anything out of. Here's hoping... (The point of this is to say how happy I am that I feel we're actually getting somewhere with some of our projects and that, although I was nervous I'd regret it when we started the project, I'm actually very happy it's happening!)

On another note: Gabe loved his cereal again and was angry when there was no more, so I let him play with the spoon instead, which I thought was a nice compromise. Honestly, though, I started out feeding him by my lonesome and I'm wondering How Do Single Parents Do It? I mean, I'm totally not being rude, but am seriously wondering. It felt like it took super powers to get halfway through the bowl (of which only about a fourth got into his mouth and the rest ended up on his bib...on his cheeks...on his eyebrow?...and, okay, a little on his ear). But when Chris AND I tag-teamed it, it was much more efficient. Just like baths. A one person job ends up he doesn't really get cleaned and it takes forever to clean up afterwards. A two person job still takes forever to clean up afterwards (read: I have to change my clothes b/c it looks like I've showered with them on), but at least Gabriel gets clean...and it's funner that way. I love the fact that I tried to feed him all by myself (like a big girl) but am very grateful for The Hubster who's willing to do things right along with me (and me alongside him).

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Started Cereals

1) I never posted that Gabriel started rolling over somewhere a little after three months.
2) We started cereals last night. I decided to go for it and if it didn't go over well, we'd wait until after the two vacations...which would actually be about 7 months, not 8. Well, not that it matters. Gabe LOVED it! He got upset when there was no cereal left, but I didn't think he needed more than that and wanted to make sure there was no reaction to the cereal. It was about an oz of milk and two baby scoops of cereal. I think I'll try to make it a little thicker tonight! Gabriel thought it was the funnest thing ever, as did Christopher and I.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I'm so absurd to be stressed about solids

I'll admit. I'm not so great about making decisions. I take FOREVER to weigh the pros and cons and then once I make the decision, I simply go for it (but always wonder in the back of my mind if it's right or not). Somehow, it's easier to stick to the harder decisions than the easy ones. Before Gabriel was born, I'd planned to exclusively breastfeed him until at least 6-8 months. Now he's about 4.5 months and I'm considering letting him have some cereal for the first time. We have a very small stockpile of food I've started for him, but I just keep going back and forth. Different studies show different things, but I'm not TOO concerned about allergies, as Chris and I have none, but still... Gabe has started being very interested in us eating (although he's interested in just about everything we do) so I gave him a spoon to "play" with while we eat, which he LOVES to put in his mouth (but, once again, he does that with everything). He's already past double his birthweight, so that's one milestone and he loves rolling around, but isn't sitting up totally unassisted yet. On the one hand, I want to let him try it and then wouldn't push it if he wasn't interested/didn't like it and I'd wait a few weeks. I'm excited to try simply because I think it will be fun and I'm excited to try to make some of his own food and excited to not be so obsessed with how much I'm producing b/c there will be solids to fall back on. On the other hand, we cloth diaper and I don't want to have to start using disposable liners, and I don't want him to develop allergies and me think it was b/c I started him on solids too soon... Our family is taking two vacations this summer and I don't want to start right before, in between, or right after the vacations b/c I think it would be too many changes at once. So pretty much we're going to start him on solids by Friday, or we'll wait until a week or two after the last vacation, which will be around 8 months... I still have yet to decide fully what I want to do, but I surprise myself by being so absurd sometimes!?!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

So much harder to do with a baby!!!

I never realized JUST how hard it is to do things with a baby. And not just take a 10 minute shower, go to the grocery store, eat my dinner warm... Everything seems to have changed. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my little guy and wouldn't trade him for the ease I used to have (but didn't realize). Here's my current list of house projects that will need to be done during the summer months (3 months left maybe of decent weather) so that we can keep the windows and doors open all the time and/or stay elsewhere b/c of fumes, etc...
-Electrical, drylok, insulation, walls, and ceiling for basement entertainment room
-Fix the stairs to the basement
-Hardwood or tile for kitchen and bathroom floors?
-Refinish all hardwood floors
-Tear down and put in a new appropriate breezeway
-Tear out walls and fix bathroom (shower, step/compartment, mold-resistant walls, tile, vent)
-Lawn care (organic yard care to cut down on the bad-word weeds that overrun our yard)
-Roof reinforcement (before it snows)
-Replant rhubarb (on south side close to dog run)
-Roof for half of dog run for rainy/snowy seasons
-Plant seedlings in our massive gardens and grow away
-Move our compost
And when these will ever get done, who knows...
And, yes, we'll have to save up (time and money) in order to do these projects. Who knows when we'll have enough to complete even 2 or three of them...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I sure hope not...

I've been feeling quite down lately. I'm not sure if it's the lack of sleep due to Gabriel's sleep regression (which has totally gotten better in the last few days, thank the stars), if it's that bad things seem to be happening all around me and I'm starting to think I'm a bad-luck-charm, if it's the nasty weather we've been having lately or something else. Which brings me to my point: I'm VERY much hoping it's not late-onset PPD. That would be really stinky. And I'm not sure if it's just a crabby time, which happens for everyone and should pass relatively quickly...or something not as easily swayed. Hopefully the former. And hopefully the medium mood picks up a LOT in the next few days. The end.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Who cares if it's weird?

So back in the day, when Hubby and I were trying to get pregnant and not having much luck, we had lots and lots of talks. We'd reaffirmed that we know we wanted to adopt someday, whether we were able to get pregnant or not. We also reevaluated other things. Point being: During this time, I heard for the first time I can remember about milkbanks and milksharedotcom. These are both places that connect parents in need of antibodies for their child with milk from donating mothers. What an awesome idea, I thought. I know that if we're able to adopt a baby, I'd like to give him/her as best a start in life as I could and this is one way to ensure that start. I was hoping that, if I ever got pregnant, I'd be able to help out other moms and dads in this area. I'm proud to say that I have been able to do just that! It's not been easy, and definitely gets frustrating at times, especially when I feel tied to the pump, but it's an amazing feeling knowing that not only can I produce enough for my little monster, but I'm also able to help (currently) another adopted little girl grow! When I get discouraged with having to pump so often (and the fact that I feel starving 90% of the time and am snacking constantly...and thus have actually gained weight back after the two week post-partum mark), I think about how blessed I would feel receiving the liquid gold from some other mom...and how blessed I feel knowing I can help another baby in the way that only new moms can.
Here's how it works:
For a milkbank, a donor would contact the closest milkbank. Said milkbank would send paperwork to fill out and pay for donor to get tested (HepA, HepB, and HIV, I believe). Once results came back, donor would send frozen milk to said bank. The bank then tests/sterilizes/mixes said milk with other donor's milk and pasteurized. Then this milk is set up to be received. This milk is available by prescription mainly to premature babies, babies with medical conditions, and some adopted babies.
For a milksharing website, the milk is not pasteurized or anything. It's a direct connection to donor and recipient. A donor signs up at a site such as milkshare . com and posts their donation. (Ex: I posted that I had x amount of milk and would like to donate to either a preemie or an adopted baby.) Hopeful recipients choose a donor and connect. Donor chooses recipient and they connect. Sometimes the pair are able to meet in person and sometimes the frozen milk is shipped. Donor provides/sends milk and applicable testing (Hep and HIV testing is strongly suggested for all pregnant women, so this testing should already be completed and donor would just need to get a copy of said results). Recipient usually reimburses donor for any bags or bottles and, if shipped, also pays for shipping fees.
I've felt so blessed to be a part of this circle and try not to get offended at the people who act offended that I donate my milk to another child in need. Trust me: I comprehend that it's not the "normal" way of doing things. But why wouldn't I? I have something that another parent strongly desires for their child. Why would I deny that?
I am happy to be a part of the milksharing circle!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Rolling already?

Granted, I've been afraid he's gonna start rolling the SECOND I look away the first time he's on the couch/changing table/anywhere really...but he started rolling for the first time yesterday, April 11. Right as Chris opened the fridge door and couldn't see, Gabriel-Monster rolled from his tummy to his back. I yelled to Chris, but was too late...and then I was oh-so-sure he woulnd't do it again, but he DID!!! Great. Now not only does he scoot around on his back for several feet, but he can roll. He's gonna be scoot-scoot-scootin' around all over the place and rolling when he gets stuck...Goodness time flies. Plus, while we were "sleeping" together on the floor in his room the other day, I found that he likes to roll from his back to his side so that he can face me right-on, but as of yet can't roll totally on to his stomach.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Horribly crabby times

Trying to make a long story short:

I was on my way to go and work out before family got into town on Saturday and found the basement to have medium amounts of water in it due to the dehumidifier never being turned on. So I start rushing around trying to move all of the items I'm strong enough to move so everything's not ruined (after turning on the dehumidifier, of course). And leave in a huff to go buy a second dehumidifier (one is normally fine as long as we start it before flooding actually happens). So I buy a smaller dehumidifier just to supplement the larger one, but it was still over $150. Ouch. I get home and Hubby says that he'll just shop vac every hour that night and that after the first day, the one dehumidifier should be good. Not sure I trusted that b/c his family was coming into town and who wants to use that time vacuuming up water? I mean, really? But I agree b/c he promises he'll do it.
P.S. I felt like the rest of our house was a wreck and unclean and HATE feeling that way when people are coming over. My plan is always to have the place semi-clean, but not uber-clean.
Onward: The next day I go downstairs to empty the water bucket for the dehumidifier...which is empty. WHAT??? Yeah, so it sounds like it's working, but isn't actually sucking anything up. Oh yeah, and Hubby didn't go downstairs once the day before to shop vac. So the basement still has standing water everywhere.
Another side note: If the drylocking had been done in the fall like was said to be done, there would be only one wall that would leak (behind the stairs) as opposed to everywhere.
Onward again: So I wake Hubby up and tell him it's not working and I go to work out. I can't take the stress and anger. And I get a call after I've been at the gym for no more than maybe 40 minutes by Hubby freaking out asking where I am b/c I've been gone FOREVER. Right... If the baby is hungry, there are bottles in the fridge. Give him one. But... I stop working out and go to the locker room to get ready to come home. (I walked there and back) By the time I get home, Baby is SCREAMING his head off (and this is coming from one of the most easygoing babies I've ever dealt with). And Hubby's confused b/c the children's tylenol says not to give it to infants {Is there really a difference between infants and childrens tylenol? I mean, that's a serious question. Someone please answer.} but Baby is hot. No, he'd not taken Baby's temperature yet, but Baby was red in the face from screaming and crying so much and felt hot. Ends up Baby was never given a bottle, was overly stimulated, hadn 't gotten a nap at all that morning...Yeah, you get my point. So I take him to his room and feed and rock him, which is hard b/c he's still upset. And after a while he calms down and is sleeping, not red, and no longer warm. Granted, it happens to all of us, but should I really be putting a list of 'Could this be the problem' for when I'm not there? Honestly?
I can't even think of what else went wrong this weekend, but those pretty much sum up the aura of my weekend, if a weekend can have an aura.
HOWEVER, while it was a ridiculously stressful weekend, it was also really blessed. Family came into town (including my one and only nephew, who's getting HUGE). It was/is really great to hang out with them. And I found that my SIL and I are more similar that I thought. She's pregnant with their first biological child and her pregnancy is quite similar to mine thusfar. She's had less nausea, but more actual vomiting, but has also had recurring headaches. She weighed the exact same amount starting out and has lost a little in the first two months (the exact amount I lost) and has been able to maintain that weight (like I did). Here's hoping, though, that her nausea/vomiting stops before the halfway mark!!! Anyway, it's fun to hang out with them!!!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Birth

I wrote about my birth experience, but the blog won't let me copy and paste things into here, so you'll miss out. But, long story short: Gabe was born two days late. There was no cussing involved. He was sunny side up, so there was a lot of back labor. I was sick for a week and a half beforehand, which wasn't the best choice. I ended up taking drugs. And he was very average sized (7 lbs 8.7 oz and 20 in long). I did not prefer being pregnant, but I love being a mom. I haven't had PPD like I thought I was likely to get. As a matter of fact, I don't even think I've had any baby blues. That's weird. Oh yeah, and breastfeeding is NOT the easiest thing ever. For the first few days, I would cry everytime he would feed. Now it's better, but still so painful I cry sometimes. Oh well. Win some, lose some, right? I just LOVE being with him, though.