Sleep Training Fail

Alas, sleep training at all is a massive fail when it's just me.  Last time, Hubby would go in with a cold bottle of milk so Baby could eat if hungry, but if he was just nursing for comfort, a cold bottle wouldn't be very comforting.  This time, I'm pretty much just laying here listening to New Baby bawl/scream...but I can't just pick him up because it will make things harder in the future.  Really, I'm totally over him waking up every single hour to eat...but this just isn't working...and of course I'm wide awake because it's been an hour of crying...

Hux can now army crawl and/or roll across the room

Baby can't crawl just yet, but atarting a few days ago can army crawl quickly across an entire room to get things he ahouldnt

Rolling

I know he's been rolling for months, but now Hux is rolling across the room to get what he wants (and has been for a week or so)

Baby foodies

I was trying to wait until Hubby and I were back together to feed Baby his first solids...but it's just shy of 5 months and for over a month he screams when he sees me eating and he doesn't get any.  Today, I wrote Hubby and asked if he even cared (to which he said no but thanks for thinking of him) and Baby was crying inconsolably no matter what I did.  Gabriel refused to eat his dinner (and put himself to bed at 6:00?...which sorta makes me wonder if he has the sickness that I've had for the last day) so I squished up the innards of the plum that was meant for Gabe and fed it to Baby Zach.  And by that, I mean Baby grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go and kept feeding himself.  I also have an avocado squished up and in the fridge for him tomorrow if he so chooses.  Plum is maybe not on the list of logical firsts, but it was easy and it did make him happy (really happy) and I figure we'll start with more logical things (like the avocado I initially thought I'd feed to him) tomorrow.  I figure none of us have any allergies so I'm not gonna worry too much about Baby having allergies unless he starts acting weird, in which case I'll cut back on everything.  He will still be eating almost fully breastmilk, but it's just so fun to see him eat squished up *real* food.

*hangs head in shame*

It happened.  It happened bad.  In the last two weeks, we've been having a hard time with the parent-child relationship.  On the drive up to visit my best friend, Gabriel was spitting on his brother.  After being told to stop several times and him continuing while kicking my seat (another thing he knows not to do), I pulled over to talk to him (which used to always work).  It didn't.  Bad choice 1: I slapped his hand.  Not hard, but enough where I thought it would get his attention.  It didn't.  Bad choice 2: when he spit in my face, I maybe touched his face (I didn't slap it, but I wanted to hard).

Worst experience 2:  The other day we went out for a short excursion to have dinner and get scissors from Hobby Lobby.  Gabriel was doing *whatever* it was again and we were next to the Jeep trying to talk when he started hitting/kicking/spitting again.  I swatted his bottom.  I thought for SURE that would work.  Maybe I didn't swat him hard enough because that kid didn't even blink!  I'm generally only a fan of spankings when it's a life and death type of thing (your kid keeps running out into the road and won't pay attention). 

I'll be entirely honest that my fuse has been way shorter with Gabe.  I've been trying to make a point to spend positive time with him, but it's hard with how busy we are.  And it's extra hard when I offer to read books and he keeps saying no.  And then add on top that he's been a huge goober lately and it's extra, extra hard and I'm sorta over it.  I HATE feeling this way as a mom.  I used to LOVE spending time with Gabriel.  I get that he's struggling with all of the transitions.  But I'm sorta just over it.  Turn four already and be a responsible, kid child again. 

"If you're gonna act like a turd, go lay in the yard."