So I'm finally starting to understand. People have been slightly taken aback when I don't react how they think I should when the news is released about the pregnancy...And I finally think I know why.
#1 You should know that I am extremely ecstatic.
#2 I think the reactions have been tame because I haven't had a chance to thouroughly process this new development yet. Granted, we had the time where we were trying...and I pre-processed what I could at that time, but since we actually saw a test that was positive, I haven't really had time to myself when there hasn't been 5,000 things that NEED to get done and/or I'm asleep. And I NEED my time to work through things. Otherwise, I tend to totally blow up at the oddest times. Chris knows. I just need time to focus and think through things. Otherwise I'm totally psychotic. Plus, I'm not so much a center of attention person. And now there's a cazillion people all asking me questions and looking for responses.
It feels like my brain is 3 miles wide and our baby is getting pushed to the back until I can actually focus, you know?
Anyway, I just wanted to verify. I don't feel I have the energy to focus on it just yet...and all of the focus on me makes the pressure get worse. I'm excited for the weekend. Finish my garden. Clean the house. Maybe work on a house project or two. Revise my final assignment yet again. Actually sit down and work through issues with the baby (with myself). And to be able to sit down with Chris and discuss all of the different things we really need to discuss sooner rather than later.
Plus, we found a crib and matching changing table (the style I like) second-hand on Craigslist and it's in good condition and Chris and Jeremy brought it to the house today for $75! It was such a blessing. I haven't been able to find "my" style of changing table anywhere. It's just not the "in" thing I guess, but it's what I wanted. And we got these for cheap! I'm just fine using second-hand things and am SO glad we were able to find this. Now I just really need to finish remodeling hte second bedroom and closet, you know? Now it's time to contain the excitement again...and yet keep just enough of it to keep me awake through the last hour of work. I wonder if Chris will pick me up...or walk the dogs up to get me? Either way would be awesome. I don't really wanna walk home alone today.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Grunt
So I told the bosses today. That went very well and took a lot of the stress off my shoulders (although I shouldn't've been stressed about it).
We've also decided that keeping it a secret it too hard and whatnot.
And so we went to the doctor last night b/c certain unnamed people wanted to make absolutely sure. And now I have a bruise on my arm from where they drew blood (I've never been bruised there before...You think she'd be more gentle...not less). And I felt like the doctor was talking to me like I didn't know anything. How frustrating. But at least seeing him was only a one-time thing, so we're good to go.
The baby's the size of a sesame seed? How come I'm already heavier than I've ever been? Oh well. I'll just have to watch what I eat and not have a whatchamacallit every single day in addition to my other yummies I'm constantly eating...
We've also decided that keeping it a secret it too hard and whatnot.
And so we went to the doctor last night b/c certain unnamed people wanted to make absolutely sure. And now I have a bruise on my arm from where they drew blood (I've never been bruised there before...You think she'd be more gentle...not less). And I felt like the doctor was talking to me like I didn't know anything. How frustrating. But at least seeing him was only a one-time thing, so we're good to go.
The baby's the size of a sesame seed? How come I'm already heavier than I've ever been? Oh well. I'll just have to watch what I eat and not have a whatchamacallit every single day in addition to my other yummies I'm constantly eating...
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
What?
#1 My dad called last night, but I was already asleep and so they (Dad and Chris) didn't want to wake me up...Sad face. But I did sleep much better last night. I still woke up 5-7 times, but was able to get back to sleep within 10 minutes each time (major blessing). Dad e-mailed me which was nice and then tried to call me while I was at work this morning...Doesn't it figure the call would be at one of the busiest random times, so I wasn't able to answer...and then a few tears squeezed their way out when I listened to his voice on the answering machine. I think he called my cell too, so I'm saving that message for when I'm alone and can actually cry if I wanna. Poor Jess (one of our grad students) walked up right as the tears started and my head was hanging and she was all worried and whatnot and offered me her office if I needed to cry. She's such a sweetheart. I was planning on getting her a chocolate bar with blueberries. I should remember that...
#2 I don't feel that tired today, although it's only 9:23, which is great!
#3 It looks like Chris and I will be able to meet up with some of his family for the 4th of July weekend, which I'm very excited about.
#4 How odd, but I ate 1 dark chocolate chip pancake this morning which was delicious...and then started eating my second one, but got two bites into it before it tasted not-as-good, so I gave it to Chris. And then I started doing my normal morning stuff and then saw our cat Kit Gizmo, so I had to pick her up and was walking around with her...and she didn't even smell bad, but all of the sudden I was running to the bathroom heaving...but it was just air, thank goodness and then went outside to the 30 degree weather (b/c the cold normally helps when my stomach's upset)... But how odd is that? Anyway, hope it was just a weird fluke.
#5 Dana gave me a card and gift last night that just about made my day (today when I was awake enough to start reading it...and the card was just about the best thing ever!) Thanks.
#2 I don't feel that tired today, although it's only 9:23, which is great!
#3 It looks like Chris and I will be able to meet up with some of his family for the 4th of July weekend, which I'm very excited about.
#4 How odd, but I ate 1 dark chocolate chip pancake this morning which was delicious...and then started eating my second one, but got two bites into it before it tasted not-as-good, so I gave it to Chris. And then I started doing my normal morning stuff and then saw our cat Kit Gizmo, so I had to pick her up and was walking around with her...and she didn't even smell bad, but all of the sudden I was running to the bathroom heaving...but it was just air, thank goodness and then went outside to the 30 degree weather (b/c the cold normally helps when my stomach's upset)... But how odd is that? Anyway, hope it was just a weird fluke.
#5 Dana gave me a card and gift last night that just about made my day (today when I was awake enough to start reading it...and the card was just about the best thing ever!) Thanks.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Well, this is a first
As the few of you know, Chris and I have experienced a first...
Things have been weird this past cycle, but I know my imagination is pretty wild sometimes, but I did lay in bed for all night starting at 5:45 on Friday and my boobs hurt REALLY bad a week ago (but that's happened once before) and my tummy felt funny (but I noticed that as I've been getting older...or at least since the whole "problem time" I've had more PMS symptoms, so I tried not to figure too much about it).
Anyway, so I bought the tests (two pack) and then went to Lowe's and then came home and watched a movie while painting my nails black (with stickers, of course) and then had to pee, so tried not to be too excited and figured why not. And the test said it would take up to three minutes, so I figured I'd pee, wash my hands, make Chris watch the funny part of the movie I'd rewound it to, and then we'd go and look together...but the answer was there before I was finished washing my hands!!! So I told Chris to come look (after making him promise to come watch the funny part of the movie). And we were both happy-ing and then went to watch the funny part of the movie. Then we agreed to tell only the closest of family and friends and then went about calling people. Of course I had to call my mom first, not even thinking that she'd want to talk for forever...and then had to call Devin b/c my siblings knew and then called Dana and then decided it was too late to call Ana and today I finally e-mailed my dad (he should've used his psychic powers to know to call last night).
Maybe that's why I haven't been sleeping too well the last few nights. Like, it's gotten back to where it used to be where I'll wake up several times during the night and it takes FOREVER to get to sleep. So although I was in bed from 11-ish to 6:30-ish, I think I got maybe 4 hours of sleep...Oh well. Now at least I have something to think about.
Things have been weird this past cycle, but I know my imagination is pretty wild sometimes, but I did lay in bed for all night starting at 5:45 on Friday and my boobs hurt REALLY bad a week ago (but that's happened once before) and my tummy felt funny (but I noticed that as I've been getting older...or at least since the whole "problem time" I've had more PMS symptoms, so I tried not to figure too much about it).
Anyway, so I bought the tests (two pack) and then went to Lowe's and then came home and watched a movie while painting my nails black (with stickers, of course) and then had to pee, so tried not to be too excited and figured why not. And the test said it would take up to three minutes, so I figured I'd pee, wash my hands, make Chris watch the funny part of the movie I'd rewound it to, and then we'd go and look together...but the answer was there before I was finished washing my hands!!! So I told Chris to come look (after making him promise to come watch the funny part of the movie). And we were both happy-ing and then went to watch the funny part of the movie. Then we agreed to tell only the closest of family and friends and then went about calling people. Of course I had to call my mom first, not even thinking that she'd want to talk for forever...and then had to call Devin b/c my siblings knew and then called Dana and then decided it was too late to call Ana and today I finally e-mailed my dad (he should've used his psychic powers to know to call last night).
Maybe that's why I haven't been sleeping too well the last few nights. Like, it's gotten back to where it used to be where I'll wake up several times during the night and it takes FOREVER to get to sleep. So although I was in bed from 11-ish to 6:30-ish, I think I got maybe 4 hours of sleep...Oh well. Now at least I have something to think about.
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